There should be songs about our actual dirty secrets. The ones that involve dirt, dust, grease and crumbs. Not this allegedly "dirty" stuff they keep putting on mtv, where everybody just got out of the shower and put on a gallon of makeup. Who wears makeup like that? Acutally, who wears makeup? That stuff is ridiculous. It's like, I've got paint and a mirror, so instead of painting a portrait of myself, I'm going to paint a portrait of someone who looks almost exactly like me on top of myself, so that people won't see me. When they look at me they'll see my painting, and it'll be so much like me that they'll think they're looking at me, but I'm fooling them. Ha ha ha. Gotcha. I'm not me. I'm art. The whole concept is ridiculous. Someone should write a song about it.
lyrics
a dirtier secret than money or sex
the true mark of american success
I got places to go and people to see
so someone else cleans up after me
Well the universe is a battleground
between energy and entropy
and you just can't win
without without a helping hand
deeper subrosa than money or sex
we don't talk about it with our closest friends
you wonder how I ever keep my house so clean
it's cause someone else is cleaning up after me
but some things in life ain't free
well the american revolution
was fought by immigrant mercenaries
and that's the same way real american housewives
keep american houses clean
our capitalist system pre-dates our democracy
and capitalists predate upon the free
the proletariat will do the things you need for a small fee
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